Hello. In the spirit of pretending I don't have any illness, it has been a long time since I've posted.
I started a new treatment over a month ago called LDI (low-dose immunotherapy, I believe). It is a series of weekly injections into the skin on my forearms. In any illness or allergy, it is the body's immune system that creates body symptoms and causes one grief. The purpose of LDI is to train the immune system to stop reacting so much to foreign substances, whether it is Lyme, a virus, peanuts, or even a sample of your own tissue.
I have undergone five weeks of treatment so far. It makes me feel quite Lyme-y sometimes, but my guts are feeling so much better than they used to. In fact, I am basically eating only gluten- and soy-free now. Isn't that crazy?! I still keep up a lot of Paleo habits because they work for me, but I enjoy having more variety in my diet. The first week I ate small portions of dairy, I gained four glorious pounds—and I haven't lost them yet! I'm so happy about this, and that my gut seems to be healing.
Recently, I read a book by a Japanese organizer named Marie Kondo. It has changed my life, and I am finally setting our house in order. So far, I have discarded about 1 ½ or two SUVs full of stuff, and I'm not even halfway through. As I go through our belongings, I have learned a lot about what I want from my life and what kind of energy we want in our home. I'll post on this once I'm further into the process. But I will say it is extremely fulfilling to gain mastery over our objects.
My husband planted a large garden this year, knowing I would most likely not help with maintaining it. He has cheerfully farmed that little piece of dirt, and it has given back more than we expected. We have kale out the wazoo! Our compost pile is growing, and our neighbor who breeds rabbits gives us all the manure we could possibly need.
My little family seems to be doing well. My husband has been extremely busy with work this summer, and I'm so glad. I knew that someday our prayer would be answered and we may miss the slow business days. But my husband continues on as cheerfully as ever. Our daughter had surgery over a week ago—tonsils and adenoids. We feel like parents of a newborn again with all the times we have been awake with her in the night. But she is recovering as well as can be expected and will have a renewed burst of health and apnea-free sleeping from now on, we hope. Our son is the most good-natured, silly boy, and I have needed his steady pleasantness as I've nursed our daughter back to health while Daddy is working. I'm not kidding when I say that every single thing about him is almost unbearably cute to me. I can't believe how adorable my children are and how blessed we are to have them.
In fact, a friend commented to me yesterday as she observed them playing, that she always wanted a boy and a girl—that it would be just perfect. And as I looked at my peeps through her eyes, I agreed—I have a great situation. I'm so very grateful they came thirteen months apart while I was still so young.
Speaking of children, there are sure a lot of them being born and announced lately. And I am soooo delighted for their parents! Per suggestion from someone who has done the same due to health issues and promptings, I asked Heavenly Father to remove my desire for more babies if He truly didn't want me to worry about bringing them to earth at this time. And He really has. Just this past weekend, I gave away baby items without a twinge of sentiment or regret. Happily, I let them sail on to a new life without us. While I used to be unsatisfied with our "small" brood, I don't feel guilt anymore about being happy about our family of four.
I should talk about my mood. It's been awesome! It's a miracle, as slow as the night sky waking up as the sun approaches the horizon. I never knew if I would ever be okay again—a hallmark of despair. Yet, I feel great. Truly happy and full of gratitude.
Sure, I get spells of anxiety in social situations still. If I'm hammered with outside negative energy, I crumble. But those are moments instead of my existence. I know the sun will come back out. I can't believe I am so happy.
I do still have limitations. But I feel more powerful than I have in years.
Scriptures, prayer, and journaling have also saved me. I started the Book of Mormon again and slowly digested first Nephi, because come on guys, Nephi is the man. I also feel he is among the most expressive and candid of the Book of Mormon writers. I relate to a lot of his emotions; he shows vulnerability and fortitude all at once. I love Nephi. Every time we begin the Book of Mormon together, I can't help but think that he was meant to be at the beginning as a relatable and invitational voice to all who start the Book again.
There is a difficulty unrelated to health or anything I've talked about that I am working through. It's exciting to get to work through challenges and find out how I am stronger afterwards. This one is a doozy, but Heavenly Father is really helping me.
I guess the only other thing to update you about is my birthday. It's coming up soon, and I'm excited to finish yet another trip around the sun. I start a new journal on my birthday every year, and this past year's journal will definitely exceed the number of words in the third Harry Potter book (>107,000). I like that this time of year is hallmarked by school supplies and new clothes in the stores. I like sipping herbal tea and dreaming of fall, then winter…but I still like folding few socks from the laundry because everyone is running around in sandals. There's a seriousness and simplicity before impending school structure hits us all again. It's weird and wonderful, sweet and stressful. I approach my birthday with new goals and hopes in my heart.
That's my story for now. I barely keep my eyes open as I type this. The Lyme is fierce today, but I don't mind giving in. Love you all!
