Bookworm

I made a New Years resolution this year to finish twelve books. 

Why twelve? Why, there are twelve months in the year, of course. But even at that, it felt ambitious. 

This time last year, I had a PICC line in my arm and was so sick that all I could do was watch movies and crochet. I couldn't concentrate to read to save my life, but I thought it would be a more productive use of my time if I ever shook off some of the Lyme brain. 

When I got my PICC line out last Christmas Eve, I don't know...I felt like becoming someone new. Lyme brain had lifted a little, and I'd crocheted three afghans, hats, scarves, pot holders, and anything else easy you can think of. I set this goal of reading hoping I could learn and grow this year...and just to see if I would ever be a reader again. Teenage me loved to read, but then college me and new mom me and nurse me and sick me all happened...so was there time for a reader me?

The start of my year was slow. But, to date, I have completed thirty one novels/books. I can't believe it! 

Once I passed ten or so, I couldn't stop. Now I read in spare moments, browse my library's catalog app, read reviews on Amazon, search the discombobulated shelves of the thrift store... But it feels so edifying and purposeful. I feel like I'm on the upswing of a parabola, projecting exponentially forward in my interest for this old, new endeavor. 

Purpose comes not just from reaching my goal, but also providing an escape, building my vocabulary, giving exposure to (mostly modern) literature, and practicing critical/analytical thinking again. I run through mental explications in my head. I fall in love with writing styles and characters and descriptive language. Oh, BOOKS!!!!!

I don't read a lot when my kids are awake at home, so when they are in bed and the stillness of evening is upon us (my husband often works late), I absorb new friends in the form of book characters. 

Some characters I have come to know and love this year are Cassandra (and Topaz) Mortmain from I Capture the Castle, Gwen Shephard from the Ruby Red series, America Singer from The Selection series, Keturah from Keturah and Lord Death, and Heck from Heck Superhero. Love you guys. 

I've learned what styles I like: for example, right now I do not have the concentration to finish a book that has no plot. It's too bad, because I have a lot of great plot-less books I'd like to read! I also can tolerate love triangles sparingly...but one after another. For example, I loved reading the Ruby Red series after the Matched series because I took a 1000-page break from love triangles. It was grand. I've read about more since, believe you me!

I've learned more about writing, a pastime I have sincerely loved ever since I started writing personal musings in a private notebook in fourth grade. In my reading this year, some of my styles I use were validated by other authors. For example, it seems I am not the only one who loves poetry, even free verse! Some authors write entire novels with it. It may be my jam. 

I've also learned that I don't know what my voice, schtick, platform, passion, whatever you want to call it, is, and I have a lot of drafting to do before I put out anything good. I don't feel like writing a memoir of my Lyme journey because I'm still in the thick of it, and I'm not far-removed enough yet to write my feelings without being deeply affected presently. I don't have a fictional story to tell yet (well, I do...but I have to do tons of research and maybe get another degree first). My poetry...well, my husband likes it, but I don't have a subject worth putting out there yet. I won't write a cookbook, ew. (Maybe a booklet?) I'm a fair lyrics writer, but effortless tunes only come to me once in a blue moon. 

However, I do excel in journaling--the stuff no one will read in real time. 

I don't know where my journals will end up in the end. I label my papers by age, so maybe a descendent of ours will want to see what, say, nineteen-year-old me was like or something...but it may be rubbish! Meh.

But back to books. I love them. I love flipping pages, smelling the print of a brand new book, tasting the food they describe, hearing sounds created my mere verbiage. It's amazing what words can do! And it's amazing what an addict I've become to words. 

I love reading about social issues right now, this month. That's my jam. Oh, Heck Superhero was so good in that way. The author didn't leave out real issues, like trying to find a restroom to use in the morning when you're homeless. Or hunger that is all-consuming and just can't be ignored. Those are real issues!!! People don't talk about hunger or needing to urinate in their books, you know? It's just assumed that meals and hygiene happen in between the other adventures. Well, to me, physiology matters, and j thank Martine Leavitt for bringing it home. Not knowing what to eat is a daily dilemma for me, and I'm too weak to make stuff very often. It's a first world problem maybe, but it's legit for me. Not having the energy to shower, and feeling gross and unkempt, really happens about every other day for me. Food and hygiene matter. Why don't more characters talk about this? I think that's why I'm loving reading about people who just struggle with their own versions of day-to-day living. Are we not all climbing mountains? Are we not all walking each other home? (*steps off soap box*)

I love lots of books. Not gushy, Mormon romance so much right now...or super dark horror probably ever...or plotless books, as wonderful as they are. Young adult fiction rocks, compelling stories that change my view of humanity or the world is awesome, and a froofy young adult romance never hurt, but not every time. 

It's just nice to be reading! Do you love to read? What's your jam? What feeling do you want when you close a book? Personally, I want to sigh or have my mouth hanging open in amazement. Then j want to scramble back to my favorite parts again and read them over. 

Oh my...the magic of books!

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