Checking In

Hey everyone. I just wanted to check in with a quick post. I don't feel well. Lately, mornings have been like an out-of-body experience. I wake up exhausted and stay brain dead until evening, usually. I had two pretty good days this week, which was a miracle, but looking back, they were both days when I had a little caffeine in my system. Still, I got a little shopping done and was able to do some laundry. It felt good.

I am still keeping busy with various personal projects, like finishing the Book of Mormon by the end of the year, writing my first novel by the end of this month, hand sewing a bit, and reading loads. Plus there are the casual, everyday things, like listening to my children read, homework, and ponderizing. For ponderizing, we are going over the Articles of Faith, adding one or two every week. Right now we're up to ten.

I still go to the doctor once every week or two for LDI injections. So far, I've had 13. I eat this and that, but can't summon the energy to cook most of the time. I broke out into the worst acne of my life about six weeks ago and am trying to resolve it by eliminating foods from my diet. The symptoms I don't have anymore are the painful gut problems that were my constant companions for almost three years. It is so awesome to be pain free when I digest!!! I love it so much. My twitching spells are few and far between, which is great. Now if I could just get over this devastating, debilitating fatigue and get my brain/memory retention/emotions back, I'd feel just about back to normal. Weak and needing to build stamina, but normal. I spend so much time in bed, but on my good days this week I hung out on the couch instead. I count couch days as victories, because I get up.

Sometimes my fatigue feels like I am recovering from anesthesia (dizzy, disoriented, and mentally checked out), but being forced awake against my will. Sometimes it feels like I've just caught the worst cold of my life, and all that matters is immediate, undisturbed sleep--but I can't sleep well, day or night. Sometimes it feels like have just run a race, and all my ATP energy has been sapped from the mitochondria in my muscle cells. Sometimes it feels like my body presses heavily into the mattress, like a stone. But usually, it's some sort of combination of all of these.

My family is cute and supportive. My husband is so kind and compassionate. Our kids are growing up too much. Snuggling with them while they're still little and still adore me is one of my favorite things.

That's all, I guess. Hope you're well!